"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver."

"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver."

~Mohandas K Gandhi

Saturday, January 1, 2011

March 2007 is always with me

In some ways, that terrible time when I was so ill, still suffering from not-properly treated Post Partum Depression, and trying to figure out motherhood, will never ever leave me. 

One of the things I have always had to deal with to a certain extent is odd little pains now and again.  I get a charley horse in a muscle on my ribcage occasionally; I am sure I look really interesting as I try to stretch that one out!  My lungs will hurt sometimes, if I am really sick, or if I am having an asthma attack.  When I'm really sick, and coughing a lot, I pull various muscles in my chest; I have even cracked ribs from coughing.  (How do I know I cracked a rib and didn't just pull a muscle again?  Trust me, I know.  I felt it crack.)  That was is superfun, because it takes six to eight weeks for it to fully heal.  You can't wrap a rib and immobilize it, as you would most other bones.  The ribs move with every breath you take. 

A couple of hours ago, I had a pain in my back, on the right, and difficulty drawing a deep breath as a result.  I immediately began to panic- is it another empyema?  I do feel like I am coming down with yet another cold, but it's not full-on yet.  I used my rescue inhaler, to see if it would help.  Sure enough, by about ten minutes after that, I was fine. 

Moments like this, and the four scars from chest-tube surgery (that still itch sometimes- what's up with that?), remind me all too well that I am not and never will be normal.

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