In some ways, that terrible time when I was so ill, still suffering from not-properly treated Post Partum Depression, and trying to figure out motherhood, will never ever leave me.
One of the things I have always had to deal with to a certain extent is odd little pains now and again. I get a charley horse in a muscle on my ribcage occasionally; I am sure I look really interesting as I try to stretch that one out! My lungs will hurt sometimes, if I am really sick, or if I am having an asthma attack. When I'm really sick, and coughing a lot, I pull various muscles in my chest; I have even cracked ribs from coughing. (How do I know I cracked a rib and didn't just pull a muscle again? Trust me, I know. I felt it crack.) That was is superfun, because it takes six to eight weeks for it to fully heal. You can't wrap a rib and immobilize it, as you would most other bones. The ribs move with every breath you take.
A couple of hours ago, I had a pain in my back, on the right, and difficulty drawing a deep breath as a result. I immediately began to panic- is it another empyema? I do feel like I am coming down with yet another cold, but it's not full-on yet. I used my rescue inhaler, to see if it would help. Sure enough, by about ten minutes after that, I was fine.
Moments like this, and the four scars from chest-tube surgery (that still itch sometimes- what's up with that?), remind me all too well that I am not and never will be normal.
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